The head cold hit the house. David spent most of the week trying to overcome the congestion, and then it moved to Michellie. With big black circles around her eyes, a red nose, and a scratchy throat, she was very upset to have gotten sick. No fever ensued, so we are happy to report, that she actually has sailed through the cold quicker than David. Thursday she spent the day on the couch, and caught up on watching The King's Speech, and then Oprah.
With a wake up call from my sister at 4 am - only 12 am in BC, I tried to sleep until 5:15 before I headed to the tv to watch the Royal Wedding. With Michellie being sick, I let her sleep, as well as the rest of the family. Char, Jessica and I were on the phone for over 4 hours enjoying the awesome event! Michellie stumbled down for the Royal Kiss and then watched all of the reruns of the highlights. We are up for Oprah's commentary this afternoon.
Michellie's spirits are climbing as she gets closer to her trip. It is definitely incentive to get better quicker. She was only well enough to go to school on Tuesday afternoon this week, but hopefully when she returns from her trip she will be able to become a regular at school again. It really has been a long time.
So, now, Michellie is spending the afternoon trying on all of her shorts, bathing suits and t-shirts to pack the summer clothes for her hot fun in the sun! The temperature in Washington is promising to be around 30 degrees. Fortunately we had shopped for summer clothes a while back and everything still fits. There is a big smile on Michellie's face as she gears up for this incredible opportunity.
Our big challenge is what Michellie will eat for breakfasts. It is really hard to go to a restaurant and order something that is not wheat or eggs. We have been shopping for some things, and fruit will be her best friend I am sure. As well, we have nut mixes too.
The boys are out today fixing lawn mowers and taking dining room riff raff to the land fill. They have almost gutted the whole dining room area for the new windows and ceilings now too. This house has 15 inch planks of wood for the siding between the joists, it is really incredible. The wood is solid and the beams are strong. Too bad it all is hidden behind the drywall. When the rain stops, which is hopefully in the next day or so, we should be ready to get those windows in. It is very exciting! The piles are in the shed to pour the footings for the deck in the front, the permits are through for the septic system overhaul, and the geothermal will be able to get started once the temperature stays warm and we no longer need the furnace. I have bought wild flower seeds for some of the areas that Kenzie and I cleared last weekend, and at the moment we have pods of daffodils blooming all over the property. I look forward to planting more bulbs in the fall now that I know what the spring flowers are planted like.
Off to check the suitcase to see if it is correct. Michellie is our detail girl and always prepared. This trip is going to be great for her!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 27
Tuesday was our two week point with the start of Physiotherapy exercises to get Michellie's muscles back on track. Time has a way of helping us forget things, and it wasn't until we met with the Physiotherapist that we realized just how much healing Michellie has accomplished over the last two weeks. When we first tested her reflexes, Michellie had nerve damage such that she had lost feeling in the legs and feet. She was having trouble recognizing touch to any part of her legs, and the sensations were not equal. Very often her feet and legs would go numb. We are happy to report that she now has sensation equally down her legs and feet. There is still a little numbness on the bottoms of her feet.
Michellie's balance was such that she could balance with her eyes open and on one foot for about 15 seconds, and with her eyes closed, about 2 seconds. Yesterday, she had balance on her feet with her eyes open for almost a minute, and over 15 seconds with her eyes closed. This was a significant shift. The impact of this change in receptors shows that the proprioceptive system is gaining strength, and that messages are now being transmitted equally and with integrity.
The first meeting Michellie had no idea where muscles were, if they were engaged, and how they felt - except maybe if they cramped. This still blows me away - she was a dancer, how could she not know!? Yesterday, Michellie could find the muscles, she could engage them, and she had strength to reproduce an action repeatedly without fatigue. She had gained considerable strength in her core, glutes and hamstrings.
New activities added for her this week included work with the Gluteus Medius. Michellie could not engage her gluteus medius without shifting her hip to use her hip flexors, or quad. She also noted that she could feel her abdominals try to engage, as well as her fascia latta. These are all muscles Michellie used to do the Highland Fling, Hitch Slide, Grande Battements, Baby Freezes and more only 12 months ago. She is relearning from the ground up for sure.
Michellie's hand grasp had improved significantly as well, and both hands are now equal in grip. This will help with bike riding, and using the grip to get up and down our driveway as it is an uphill climb to get home.
Standing and sitting tall is much easier for Michellie now. She definitely walks with more confidence, and when she sits up her head is in alignment with her spine. All of this had collapsed through the treatments. As well, the shoulder blades have had a huge winging in the back with treatment, and she has been able to reduce this by 50% over the last few weeks. This will keep her from still being able to lift boxes, or do any extraneous pulling or extending. Bed making is ok, but vacuuming is still not a good idea. They are worried she could still pop a disc out with the muscles not yet engaged in her core.
Next weeks walking in Washington should really help to reengage the whole body in movement. Michellie has a whole new set of exercises to add, and she has continued with using the Star as well to reengage the brain/body connection and continue to repair the mylenation across the nerve endings. She has even talked about getting a little Highland Fling time in, just to engage those muscles again.
Reflecting on this experience from a physical perspective, it is really amazing to see how important movement and nutrition is to the body. Inactivity can reduce the body quickly and in ways one can not even imagine. As well, damage to nerve endings can reak havoc on so many aspects of our lives. The brain, the spine, the muscles, sensation, concentration, stamina, strength, the list is endless. The body is a marvel at repair and sustaining itself, but if we keep the nutrition strong, what incredible power we continue to give to our body to do the best for us.
Michellie's next appointment is in three weeks. That will be the middle of May. It is hard to believe that May has arrived and so has Spring. New possibility in every way.
Michellie's balance was such that she could balance with her eyes open and on one foot for about 15 seconds, and with her eyes closed, about 2 seconds. Yesterday, she had balance on her feet with her eyes open for almost a minute, and over 15 seconds with her eyes closed. This was a significant shift. The impact of this change in receptors shows that the proprioceptive system is gaining strength, and that messages are now being transmitted equally and with integrity.
The first meeting Michellie had no idea where muscles were, if they were engaged, and how they felt - except maybe if they cramped. This still blows me away - she was a dancer, how could she not know!? Yesterday, Michellie could find the muscles, she could engage them, and she had strength to reproduce an action repeatedly without fatigue. She had gained considerable strength in her core, glutes and hamstrings.
New activities added for her this week included work with the Gluteus Medius. Michellie could not engage her gluteus medius without shifting her hip to use her hip flexors, or quad. She also noted that she could feel her abdominals try to engage, as well as her fascia latta. These are all muscles Michellie used to do the Highland Fling, Hitch Slide, Grande Battements, Baby Freezes and more only 12 months ago. She is relearning from the ground up for sure.
Michellie's hand grasp had improved significantly as well, and both hands are now equal in grip. This will help with bike riding, and using the grip to get up and down our driveway as it is an uphill climb to get home.
Standing and sitting tall is much easier for Michellie now. She definitely walks with more confidence, and when she sits up her head is in alignment with her spine. All of this had collapsed through the treatments. As well, the shoulder blades have had a huge winging in the back with treatment, and she has been able to reduce this by 50% over the last few weeks. This will keep her from still being able to lift boxes, or do any extraneous pulling or extending. Bed making is ok, but vacuuming is still not a good idea. They are worried she could still pop a disc out with the muscles not yet engaged in her core.
Next weeks walking in Washington should really help to reengage the whole body in movement. Michellie has a whole new set of exercises to add, and she has continued with using the Star as well to reengage the brain/body connection and continue to repair the mylenation across the nerve endings. She has even talked about getting a little Highland Fling time in, just to engage those muscles again.
Reflecting on this experience from a physical perspective, it is really amazing to see how important movement and nutrition is to the body. Inactivity can reduce the body quickly and in ways one can not even imagine. As well, damage to nerve endings can reak havoc on so many aspects of our lives. The brain, the spine, the muscles, sensation, concentration, stamina, strength, the list is endless. The body is a marvel at repair and sustaining itself, but if we keep the nutrition strong, what incredible power we continue to give to our body to do the best for us.
Michellie's next appointment is in three weeks. That will be the middle of May. It is hard to believe that May has arrived and so has Spring. New possibility in every way.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday, April 25th
We hope everyone had a great Easter. We had a wonderful weekend celebrating all together as a family. It was like the Christmas we missed. Michellie headed to Sam's on Saturday and was lucky enough to share Easter morning with his neice and nephew. The Easter Bunny found Michellie at Sam's and she has a cute little singing bunny on her night table stand now! She went to Easter service, and enjoyed the wonderful weather with some walks across their back yard. MacKenzie, David and I enjoyed a night at West Mabou with Mac and Howie playing. It was really great.
Sunday was definitely like Christmas. We had a cooked ham, devilled eggs (thanks to Linda), and some wicked Chocolate for dessert. The Rankins were here, and Tyson. It was so wonderful to share in everyone's company and celebrate. It was really nice to have everyone here and laughing and joking as always.
David tried valiantly to fight off a cold through the weekend, but he has enjoyed a full blown head cold. This is the first in years. We have all tried to stay out of his way, and clear of his sneezes. Hopefully he feels better tomorrow, cause today was pretty painful.
Michellie hopped on her bike today - the first time in ages. She headed around the field and down the driveway. She was a little leary of heading too far, as it is up hill all the way home. Hopefully her stamina will be strong enough by summer not to care about the trip home.
Kenzie and I spent the afternoon clearing the rubbish pile out of the back corner of the garden. Years of clippings and garbage were stacked there. We are not sure what to expect in the garden now that we have cleaned and pruned, so we will have to see what grows and blooms around the area. It was a fabulous day to be outside, and we really enjoyed a cold beer at the end of it all - a sure sign that summer is very, very close.
Michellie's rash has now diminished to the bottom of her ankles, and a partial portion of her foot. The water treatment has made a huge difference on the quick healing of her feet. She is excited that she will be ok to wear shorts in Washington. The weather there is presently 20 degrees, with a promise of 29 next week. Summer clothes and shoes are definitely going in the suitcase. We are jealous! We should have all the details to the trip tomorrow.
Michellie has had only a few bouts of stomach cramping this week, and it was easy fixes with a little energy removal. Hopefully this will continue on her trip. Tomorrow when we head to Inverness for Physio, we will pick up all the snack options we can for her suitcase. What she eats in Washington can be replaced with souvenirs for the trip back. Breakfasts are still a challenge as we stay clear of wheat in the morning, and eggs cause her cramping. This really does limit the choices. She is not a big granola fan, or some breakfast bars could be an option. I tried Pina Coloda Quinoa this morning, but only Kenzie and I enjoyed it. Anyone with other ideas for her week in Washington, don't be shy, we would love some ideas.
Today we cleared out the dining room and prepared the room for the new windows. If the weather holds, we should be able to get the two new windows in, and enjoy more of the incredible sunsets that Cape Breton boasts. Hopefully David will feel up to being on the wrecking crew in the morning.
Sunday was definitely like Christmas. We had a cooked ham, devilled eggs (thanks to Linda), and some wicked Chocolate for dessert. The Rankins were here, and Tyson. It was so wonderful to share in everyone's company and celebrate. It was really nice to have everyone here and laughing and joking as always.
David tried valiantly to fight off a cold through the weekend, but he has enjoyed a full blown head cold. This is the first in years. We have all tried to stay out of his way, and clear of his sneezes. Hopefully he feels better tomorrow, cause today was pretty painful.
Michellie hopped on her bike today - the first time in ages. She headed around the field and down the driveway. She was a little leary of heading too far, as it is up hill all the way home. Hopefully her stamina will be strong enough by summer not to care about the trip home.
Kenzie and I spent the afternoon clearing the rubbish pile out of the back corner of the garden. Years of clippings and garbage were stacked there. We are not sure what to expect in the garden now that we have cleaned and pruned, so we will have to see what grows and blooms around the area. It was a fabulous day to be outside, and we really enjoyed a cold beer at the end of it all - a sure sign that summer is very, very close.
Michellie's rash has now diminished to the bottom of her ankles, and a partial portion of her foot. The water treatment has made a huge difference on the quick healing of her feet. She is excited that she will be ok to wear shorts in Washington. The weather there is presently 20 degrees, with a promise of 29 next week. Summer clothes and shoes are definitely going in the suitcase. We are jealous! We should have all the details to the trip tomorrow.
Michellie has had only a few bouts of stomach cramping this week, and it was easy fixes with a little energy removal. Hopefully this will continue on her trip. Tomorrow when we head to Inverness for Physio, we will pick up all the snack options we can for her suitcase. What she eats in Washington can be replaced with souvenirs for the trip back. Breakfasts are still a challenge as we stay clear of wheat in the morning, and eggs cause her cramping. This really does limit the choices. She is not a big granola fan, or some breakfast bars could be an option. I tried Pina Coloda Quinoa this morning, but only Kenzie and I enjoyed it. Anyone with other ideas for her week in Washington, don't be shy, we would love some ideas.
Today we cleared out the dining room and prepared the room for the new windows. If the weather holds, we should be able to get the two new windows in, and enjoy more of the incredible sunsets that Cape Breton boasts. Hopefully David will feel up to being on the wrecking crew in the morning.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Friday, April 22
Last night was Michellie's first night out with friends - finally! She was able to catch the bus after school and head to her friend's Birthday Party for the evening. What a great milestone! She enjoyed herself, did a lot of giggling, and made it past midnight before getting too tired. She did sleep in this morning, as she said it took her a while to get to sleep after all the fun.
Today we finally had friends over for dinner from the other side of the island. David cooked up some fabulous Tortierre, and I made the Gluten Free German Chocolate Cake the right way today (two layers with lots of great icing). We had a whole evening of great chatting, and the kids did a lot of giggling. It was really fun to get together and it was nice to have MacKenzie here to enjoy it as well.
The box moving is a little slow. There is so much moving around, and shifting things to get everything to work. They are calling for rain all next week, so we have our fingers crossed that we will still be able to get the windows into the dining room. We have to get the new windows out of the lean-to part of the house, as the leaking in there is completely destroying the ceiling and walls. The whole thing could fall down before we get to tear it down. If we can get the dining room windows finished this week, then we can move on to the gable windows, and that will be the last of the windows. Next, insulation in the basement, and then we can move some more storage items down there.
In the meantime, Michellie continues with her exercises from the physio. She is getting stronger each day, but we still need to get the walking going more. The weather has been on and off rain or snow flurry, so she has not got out like we had hoped. There is only one more week until her trip, so we hope her stamina will be strong enough by then. The water treatment on her foot has made a huge difference. The skin has improved in quality and what was white scabs and bumps has turned to a huge red welt mostly. We will keep at it all week to see if we can eradicate most of it before she leaves.
We seem to have a handle on the food challenges. Michellie stays pretty close to gluten free most of the time, but she can tolerate wraps. She has become fond of Rice Crackers, instead of Wheat Thins, and she is ok with Parmesan and Cheddar cheese, but not Mozzarella. If we follow these little guidelines, everything seems to be ok. Sugar is a challenge to keep to a minimum. Everyday there is a reason to have something with sugar in it. Dad picked up IRNBRU (Michellie's favorite pop of all time), and it seems to call to her from the fridge. We are trying to get back to salads and smoothies to stay on top of the veggies and fruit servings. It is easy to slip from these, and back to snacky foods, so we are making extra efforts to not lose the new habits we have formed. Everyday is a challenge to keep on the nutritious path and away from the sugars and treats. (Of course, I am the one who made the chocolate cake tonight - and there is no way to eliminate the sugar from this treat!).
Today we finally had friends over for dinner from the other side of the island. David cooked up some fabulous Tortierre, and I made the Gluten Free German Chocolate Cake the right way today (two layers with lots of great icing). We had a whole evening of great chatting, and the kids did a lot of giggling. It was really fun to get together and it was nice to have MacKenzie here to enjoy it as well.
The box moving is a little slow. There is so much moving around, and shifting things to get everything to work. They are calling for rain all next week, so we have our fingers crossed that we will still be able to get the windows into the dining room. We have to get the new windows out of the lean-to part of the house, as the leaking in there is completely destroying the ceiling and walls. The whole thing could fall down before we get to tear it down. If we can get the dining room windows finished this week, then we can move on to the gable windows, and that will be the last of the windows. Next, insulation in the basement, and then we can move some more storage items down there.
In the meantime, Michellie continues with her exercises from the physio. She is getting stronger each day, but we still need to get the walking going more. The weather has been on and off rain or snow flurry, so she has not got out like we had hoped. There is only one more week until her trip, so we hope her stamina will be strong enough by then. The water treatment on her foot has made a huge difference. The skin has improved in quality and what was white scabs and bumps has turned to a huge red welt mostly. We will keep at it all week to see if we can eradicate most of it before she leaves.
We seem to have a handle on the food challenges. Michellie stays pretty close to gluten free most of the time, but she can tolerate wraps. She has become fond of Rice Crackers, instead of Wheat Thins, and she is ok with Parmesan and Cheddar cheese, but not Mozzarella. If we follow these little guidelines, everything seems to be ok. Sugar is a challenge to keep to a minimum. Everyday there is a reason to have something with sugar in it. Dad picked up IRNBRU (Michellie's favorite pop of all time), and it seems to call to her from the fridge. We are trying to get back to salads and smoothies to stay on top of the veggies and fruit servings. It is easy to slip from these, and back to snacky foods, so we are making extra efforts to not lose the new habits we have formed. Everyday is a challenge to keep on the nutritious path and away from the sugars and treats. (Of course, I am the one who made the chocolate cake tonight - and there is no way to eliminate the sugar from this treat!).
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Wednesday, April 20th
Yesterday was a quiet day as Michellie and I both recovered from whatever stomach issues we had picked up. Neither of us has been really sick, but the stomach cramps have continued for days now. The boys returned home at 4:30, and it was good to have MacKenzie home. We have done some great catching up, and enjoyed a lot of tea, talk and good food. MacKenzie and Michellie took part of the evening to go down to the Coal Mines and walk the beach. The sunset was a vibrant red last night, and the water was very calm.
Michellie ventured to school this afternoon, however there are a lot of germs floating around, so she was apprehensive about spending too much time in large crowds. She was to finally go to a party tomorrow night, but one of the people at the house has pneumonia, so Michellie will not be able to make that happen. She is very disappointed, and so are we. Next time!
Details for the Washington trip are coming in, and they are just securing the clearances for the kids to go to the White House. The rest of the trip details will be arriving on Monday, and we look forward to getting the bags packed for Michellie.
We had some initial success with the water treatment on Michellie's rash, but it is still raging, just in a smaller way. We will continue, and hope that it is minimized before she can go swimming at the hotel pool next week.
There are snow flurries here, with some rain, but the wind has died down. Hopefully the temperature will stay high enough to keep the snow melting as it hits the earth. The grass is green, and the tulips are up, so we know the spring signs are all here. We did hear that the frogs need to chirp on three different days, and the black birds need to head north, and then spring is officially here. The frogs have been heard once so far.
Michellie ventured to school this afternoon, however there are a lot of germs floating around, so she was apprehensive about spending too much time in large crowds. She was to finally go to a party tomorrow night, but one of the people at the house has pneumonia, so Michellie will not be able to make that happen. She is very disappointed, and so are we. Next time!
Details for the Washington trip are coming in, and they are just securing the clearances for the kids to go to the White House. The rest of the trip details will be arriving on Monday, and we look forward to getting the bags packed for Michellie.
We had some initial success with the water treatment on Michellie's rash, but it is still raging, just in a smaller way. We will continue, and hope that it is minimized before she can go swimming at the hotel pool next week.
There are snow flurries here, with some rain, but the wind has died down. Hopefully the temperature will stay high enough to keep the snow melting as it hits the earth. The grass is green, and the tulips are up, so we know the spring signs are all here. We did hear that the frogs need to chirp on three different days, and the black birds need to head north, and then spring is officially here. The frogs have been heard once so far.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Monday, April 18th
At two am this morning Michellie woke with intense stomache cramps. Having experienced a similar episode on Friday, I was downstairs for the charcoal tablets and some applesauce (the only way to get capsules down still). After about 30 minutes the body relaxed and Michellie finally fell back to sleep for the rest of the night. It appears we may have picked up our first bug while socializing this weekend. Today Michellie has struggled for energy and has spent most of the day relaxing, reading and finishing some homework. I dropped off her assignments and some Garbanzo Bean Chocolate Cake and German Chocolate Cake for the Foods teachers to enjoy. We had a little Oprah marathon too after Dad left for Halifax. He is picking up Kenzie at 7 am tomorrow.
As I was reflecting on what to write about today, I started going back through some of my notes. I have many, many notes about the hospital, her treatments, balances I did on Michellie, questions, etc. It is really so much a blur now. What stopped me for several moments and had me reflecting was a balance that I had done on Michellie Feb 26th. This was part of the third round of chemo, and was a really tough time for Michellie. I am going to tell you a bit about this balance, as it may help others reflect on their own thought patterns, and perhaps open up some ideas of new ways of thinking about situations and change. I was using a technique called Emotion Freedom Technique or EFT. I have used it a lot to tap out several spots on the body, as well as reprogram patterns in the hemispheres, and how these patterns interact with each other. This technique is very successful with addictions, allergies, depression, illness, anxiety, study and exam anxiety and more. I have added a few tweaks to the technique as a result of some learning with Carol Look who does Pattern Interrupting, and Changing Energy Patterns. I am writing the affirmation phrases that came to mind while working with Michellie. Again, I write this for others who might be looking for something specific to help them.
At the start of the technique I imagined scraping off the cells left in the chest that were holding on to the cancerous cells. I incinerated them. This left the space vulnerable and empty so I added some light and love with the affirmations for Michellie of : "Despite the vulnerability of this space - I love and accept myself." This was followed by the following: "The cells in my body are healed and strong. My body is a healing body. I move forward into my future with strength. Love eminates from every pore in my body. I am excited for my future." When I got to the hand taps, the affirmations continued to flow: "My body is a health machine. I am ready for my future. I have released my past. I forgive the cells that were holding onto my past. I am eager to explore the possibilities of my future. I go forward with happiness and security. My body sees clearly the health it possesses. I am one with the Universe and the Divine." With the Kundulini energy spiral I added "I am strong", with the Matrix energy I added " I am healed", with the Meridian flow I added "I am balanced, with the Infinity energy I added "I am free". I finished with "I am complete and robust. Fear does not register around the word cancer. The cells in the center of my chest are new, light, they are soft, they are precious, they are health, they are from the Divine, they are strength, they are light, they are love."
Namasthe everyone.
As I was reflecting on what to write about today, I started going back through some of my notes. I have many, many notes about the hospital, her treatments, balances I did on Michellie, questions, etc. It is really so much a blur now. What stopped me for several moments and had me reflecting was a balance that I had done on Michellie Feb 26th. This was part of the third round of chemo, and was a really tough time for Michellie. I am going to tell you a bit about this balance, as it may help others reflect on their own thought patterns, and perhaps open up some ideas of new ways of thinking about situations and change. I was using a technique called Emotion Freedom Technique or EFT. I have used it a lot to tap out several spots on the body, as well as reprogram patterns in the hemispheres, and how these patterns interact with each other. This technique is very successful with addictions, allergies, depression, illness, anxiety, study and exam anxiety and more. I have added a few tweaks to the technique as a result of some learning with Carol Look who does Pattern Interrupting, and Changing Energy Patterns. I am writing the affirmation phrases that came to mind while working with Michellie. Again, I write this for others who might be looking for something specific to help them.
At the start of the technique I imagined scraping off the cells left in the chest that were holding on to the cancerous cells. I incinerated them. This left the space vulnerable and empty so I added some light and love with the affirmations for Michellie of : "Despite the vulnerability of this space - I love and accept myself." This was followed by the following: "The cells in my body are healed and strong. My body is a healing body. I move forward into my future with strength. Love eminates from every pore in my body. I am excited for my future." When I got to the hand taps, the affirmations continued to flow: "My body is a health machine. I am ready for my future. I have released my past. I forgive the cells that were holding onto my past. I am eager to explore the possibilities of my future. I go forward with happiness and security. My body sees clearly the health it possesses. I am one with the Universe and the Divine." With the Kundulini energy spiral I added "I am strong", with the Matrix energy I added " I am healed", with the Meridian flow I added "I am balanced, with the Infinity energy I added "I am free". I finished with "I am complete and robust. Fear does not register around the word cancer. The cells in the center of my chest are new, light, they are soft, they are precious, they are health, they are from the Divine, they are strength, they are light, they are love."
Namasthe everyone.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunday, April 17th
I think we are officially back in the social scene! Tyson, Lisa, Jude and Pius' Birthday Celebrations were fabulous last night. The music was great, the chats were fun, and meeting all kinds of new people was great. Sam was lucky enough to see what an Inverness County Kitchen Party was like. The poor kids were too tired to stay out past 1 am, so we had to come home early. We will slowly work Sam up to more. I am bugging Sam, but Michellie did run out of steam by then too, and that was one of the first late nights for her in a while. I will attach some photos as soon as I can steal them from David.
Today at noon we were at a fundraiser for the IWK (Halifax Hospital). The Firefighters were hosting a Roast Beef dinner at the Mabou hall at noon. We all spent part of the afternoon there. It was a fabulous dinner for a great cause. Michellie and Sam had more time in the public eye.
Michellie's rash continues to persist on the bottom part of her legs and feet, so Michellie and I tried a water therapy approach today. We started with a highly acidic water, then a highly alkaline water and finished with a slightly acidic water. We only did one leg and foot, so we will compare in the morning and see if there was any further healing on the big sores on her foot.
We did move more boxes today - there sure are a lot of them - and Michellie was able to move some of the lighter ones. She keeps pushing with her therapy to do a little more each day. Her back was in a tight knot yesterday, but seemed to have lightened up today. The upper shoulders are really having a problem coming back on board. If she is going to carry any bags for the Washington trip, we are going to have to do some major work over Easter to get those muscles in gear for shopping!
Tonight is a movie night and girl time with her buddy Christina. We caught them at the Freshy getting Strawberries and Chocolate for dipping to go with the movie. Should be a good time.
 |
| Christina, Michellie and Lisa |
Today at noon we were at a fundraiser for the IWK (Halifax Hospital). The Firefighters were hosting a Roast Beef dinner at the Mabou hall at noon. We all spent part of the afternoon there. It was a fabulous dinner for a great cause. Michellie and Sam had more time in the public eye.
Michellie's rash continues to persist on the bottom part of her legs and feet, so Michellie and I tried a water therapy approach today. We started with a highly acidic water, then a highly alkaline water and finished with a slightly acidic water. We only did one leg and foot, so we will compare in the morning and see if there was any further healing on the big sores on her foot.
We did move more boxes today - there sure are a lot of them - and Michellie was able to move some of the lighter ones. She keeps pushing with her therapy to do a little more each day. Her back was in a tight knot yesterday, but seemed to have lightened up today. The upper shoulders are really having a problem coming back on board. If she is going to carry any bags for the Washington trip, we are going to have to do some major work over Easter to get those muscles in gear for shopping!
Tonight is a movie night and girl time with her buddy Christina. We caught them at the Freshy getting Strawberries and Chocolate for dipping to go with the movie. Should be a good time.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Saturday, April 16th
Last night we made our first family venture out to Strathspey Place to see "On Golden Pond". Michellie was not so sure about a play, but there were a lot of giggles coming out of her and Justine. This was an excellent play and so professionally directed and performed. It was a great evening for us all as we finally were able to see people we had not seen all winter. It sure felt good to be able to volunteer and enjoy a show. The line that the girls thought was the funniest was at the end when the old couple is dancing and celebrating all of their memories at the cabin, he says "So, do you want to dance or should be just suck face?" I so remember my grandfather stating something similar when he and my grandmother headed to the Over 40 Dances. (I also can't believe that I am now in that over 40 category too).
Michellie has continued to follow all of her exercise regime, and we have added a Tai Chi exercise I had found in my notes. It is from the Inner Structure of Tai Chi, where you lie on the floor and put your knees up. You feel your feet in the floor, tail bone, spine, shoulders and head. Then, you lift your arms straight up in front, over the chest, and then pull the hands up so the shoulders lift off the floor. This action helps to determine how to engage the whole area around the scapula, and what supports the arms naturally. Michellie had a really tough time feeling a muscle here, so we have a ways to go. This action is used by dancers who support their arms with the power of the scapula, and it completely changes the way a dancer will move. I am sharing this info now, because many people do not feel this connection, and it makes a big difference on posture, shoulder and neck alignment, headaches, back ache, and strength. If there is difficulty with anyone with posture reading this, give it a try.
Missy caught and killed a mouse in David's office this morning, and Hunter was quite eager to get in on the action too. They had been on the lookout for days, so we are happy they finally were successful. That is our first mouse in a very long time.
Today we are stretching backs and building muscle moving the last of the boxes etc from the back of the house to the attic or basement, and we are clearing out the back of the dining room. We have the dining room windows going in shortly, and then we will be able to start the demolition in the back once Kenzie arrives on Tuesday. This will be the start of chaos in all the rooms, but we all can hardly wait to have a room in the back to dance, exercise and do Tai Chi in. Michellie cannot lift much yet, but we will get her doing a bit to build that muscle back.
Tonight is our first house party with Michellie joining us. We are celebrating Tyson and Lisa's birthdays. I have the spoons, drums and washboards ready, and we are so happy to be back in the swing of celebrating again. It should be a lot of fun, music and dance. We are so ready!
On our last healing note for today, we are starting a food diary. I know that is a great exercise for all of us to consider, but we are going to really work to determine all the things that bother Michellie's digestive tract. We have it narrowed down now, and this will be to really fine tune. Once again, this is really another example of how Michellie's Journey has led us back to dance, Tai Chi, stretching, strength building, walking, good food habits, more home cooking, no sugar, more Green Tea, and incredible affirmations. We knew about all these great things, but we were moved to really look at them and make a change. I wonder why we have to have such drastic measures to make us listen and to pay attention, and then, why we constantly need reminders? Well, I propose you watch this video clip today, and start with reflecting on the important things in life. Enjoy! http://www.ifihadmychildtoraiseagain.com/
Michellie has continued to follow all of her exercise regime, and we have added a Tai Chi exercise I had found in my notes. It is from the Inner Structure of Tai Chi, where you lie on the floor and put your knees up. You feel your feet in the floor, tail bone, spine, shoulders and head. Then, you lift your arms straight up in front, over the chest, and then pull the hands up so the shoulders lift off the floor. This action helps to determine how to engage the whole area around the scapula, and what supports the arms naturally. Michellie had a really tough time feeling a muscle here, so we have a ways to go. This action is used by dancers who support their arms with the power of the scapula, and it completely changes the way a dancer will move. I am sharing this info now, because many people do not feel this connection, and it makes a big difference on posture, shoulder and neck alignment, headaches, back ache, and strength. If there is difficulty with anyone with posture reading this, give it a try.
Missy caught and killed a mouse in David's office this morning, and Hunter was quite eager to get in on the action too. They had been on the lookout for days, so we are happy they finally were successful. That is our first mouse in a very long time.
Today we are stretching backs and building muscle moving the last of the boxes etc from the back of the house to the attic or basement, and we are clearing out the back of the dining room. We have the dining room windows going in shortly, and then we will be able to start the demolition in the back once Kenzie arrives on Tuesday. This will be the start of chaos in all the rooms, but we all can hardly wait to have a room in the back to dance, exercise and do Tai Chi in. Michellie cannot lift much yet, but we will get her doing a bit to build that muscle back.
Tonight is our first house party with Michellie joining us. We are celebrating Tyson and Lisa's birthdays. I have the spoons, drums and washboards ready, and we are so happy to be back in the swing of celebrating again. It should be a lot of fun, music and dance. We are so ready!
On our last healing note for today, we are starting a food diary. I know that is a great exercise for all of us to consider, but we are going to really work to determine all the things that bother Michellie's digestive tract. We have it narrowed down now, and this will be to really fine tune. Once again, this is really another example of how Michellie's Journey has led us back to dance, Tai Chi, stretching, strength building, walking, good food habits, more home cooking, no sugar, more Green Tea, and incredible affirmations. We knew about all these great things, but we were moved to really look at them and make a change. I wonder why we have to have such drastic measures to make us listen and to pay attention, and then, why we constantly need reminders? Well, I propose you watch this video clip today, and start with reflecting on the important things in life. Enjoy! http://www.ifihadmychildtoraiseagain.com/
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Thursday, April 14th
Last night Michellie and I spent the evening going through her exercises from Physio. As she has lost all of her muscle tone, 4 months of sitting in a hospital or not dancing has taken its tole on my body as well. I could find the muscle groups, but they certainly weren't worth much. It looks like Michellie's Journey is going to bring us all into a better place physically now. Its like our whole winter was an overhaul. For those following, or on their own journey, The Star, is the ultimate sequence of movements to coordinate the brain and body and to relink sections together and work in a coordinated fashion. Michellie has found this to be invaluable. The instructions can be found on my website at http://www.dancedebut.com/ under articles. Last night we also introduced Tai Chi Balls. We didn't have balls, so we used all the crystals we have on the windowsill. This was very empowering. We also played with the arms used in a Chene Turn where you open the back and use the anterior serratus and pull the scapula forward. Michellie has no muscle tone to hold this, so we started with just doing a big hug around a ball. Eventually she will be able to hold her arms there and start into some dance basics to strength her back and arms. For those dancers reading this, it is hard to imagine how she can not have enough strength to do the most basics of the dance movements, but you can understand how the basics are so important. Once again, dance will be an incredible part of her healing process.
Today Michellie is working on her Food class homework and we are compiling some recipes for the teacher that Michellie has learnt with gluten free ingredients. I am attaching the Garbanzo Bean Chocolate Cake from Talia and Chelsie-Anne, as well as the Chocolate Chip Cookies and the German Chocolate Cake. I did improvise on the amount of sugar and used molasses and agave nectar as substitutes if you are feeling like you need to. Enjoy playing with these recipes.
For those people who would like to become a follower of Dance Debut Insights, I have a new posting at http://www.dancedebut.blogspot.com/. The insights for the next few months will be around our experiences this winter and what it means in community and in the arts. These postings are for http://www.acecommunities.ca/ and their content is based on ideas around Active, Creative and Engaging ideas. I would love for you to share any comments you have and increase awareness for ACE. Enjoy and thanks to those who have inspired the writings.
Today Michellie is working on her Food class homework and we are compiling some recipes for the teacher that Michellie has learnt with gluten free ingredients. I am attaching the Garbanzo Bean Chocolate Cake from Talia and Chelsie-Anne, as well as the Chocolate Chip Cookies and the German Chocolate Cake. I did improvise on the amount of sugar and used molasses and agave nectar as substitutes if you are feeling like you need to. Enjoy playing with these recipes.
For those people who would like to become a follower of Dance Debut Insights, I have a new posting at http://www.dancedebut.blogspot.com/. The insights for the next few months will be around our experiences this winter and what it means in community and in the arts. These postings are for http://www.acecommunities.ca/ and their content is based on ideas around Active, Creative and Engaging ideas. I would love for you to share any comments you have and increase awareness for ACE. Enjoy and thanks to those who have inspired the writings.
Garbanzo Bean Chocolate Cake (Gluten Free)
11/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 (19 ounce) can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
4 eggs
5 TBS butter
1 tsp vanilla
¾ cup white sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1 TBS confectioner’s sugar for dusting
Directions: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 inch round cake pan. Place the chocolate chips into a microwave-safe bowl. Cook in the microwave for about 2 minutes, stirring every 20 seconds after the first minute, until chocolate is melted and smooth. If you have a powerful microwave, reduce the power to 50 percent. Combine the beans, eggs, butter and vanilla in the bowl of food processor. Process until smooth. Add the sugar and the baking powder, and pulse to blend. Pour in the melted chocolate and blend until smooth, scraping down the corners to make sure chocolate is completely mixed. Transfer the batter to the prepared cake pan. Bake for 40 minutes in the preheated oven, or until a knife inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 10 to 15 minutes before inverting onto a serving plate. Dust with confectioners’ sugar just before serving.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 Cup Garbanzo Bean Flour
1 Cup cornstarch
1 cup Tapioca
¼ cup Potato Flour
½ tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
Mix all together.
1 Cup Butter, 1 cup sugar, 1/3 cup molasses, 2 eggs, 1 tsp vanilla – beat all together.
Mix with dry ingredients. Add 1 ½ cup chocolate chips. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.
German Chocolate Cake – The Gluten Free Gourmet by Bette Hagman
2 ¼ cup Four Flour Bean Mix or GF Mix
1 ¼ tsp zanthan gum
1 ¼ tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp egg replacer
½ tsp salt
4 squares semisweet chocolate (1oz each)
½ cup water
1 cup butter or margarine
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp vanilla
350 degrees, grease two 9”cake pans or a 9 by 13 pan and dust with rice flour
Whisk together the dry incredients and set aside. Melt the chocolate and set aside (this can be over the water in a double boiler, or in the microwave – but watch so it does not burn and stir often).
Cream the butter and sugar until fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and beat. Pour in chocolate and blend. Add the flour alternately with the buttermilk and vanilla in two additions. Beat on low speed until well blended. Spoon into prepared pans and bake for 35 – 45 minutes. Frost when cool.
Easy Chocolate Icing: 4 squares semisweet chocolate, ½ cup butter, 1 pound confectioner’s sugar, 1 tsp vanilla, ½ cup milk
Melt chocolate. Stir butter to soften. Beat in half the sugar. Blend in the chocolate and vanilla. Add the remaining sugar alternating with the milk, beating until smooth and the right consistency to spread. Makes 2 ½ cups icing.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Wednesday, April 13th
In previous blogs I talked about some of the programs that are available to children with cancer or illness and the ones that Michellie was able to benefit from. I wanted to further this discussion for you. We want to acknowledge all of the care packages that continued to arrive across the months, the letters, the cards, the games, the poems, the healing tools, the DVD's, the pillowcases, the donations, the emails, the incredible healthy meals, the lodgings, the reaching out from strangers who are now friends, and the incredible love and support that everyone extended to us near and far. Some people apologized for not responding sooner, and we were glad they took longer. We were so overwhelmed at the beginning, and with MacKenzie visiting through to Christmas, we struggled as a family to really keep everything together just for the four of us. We appreciated the fact that everyone was careful not to call, but to keep up on the blog and to wait for us to call when we had energy and time. This was very crucial to us staying strong and focusing on recuperating and relaxing when we could.
We appreciated the fundraising that Dalbrae Academy did for us in the first few months. Despite the fact that much of the treatment was covered, the miles of travel, meals away from home, and the not working sure changed life for us. Dalbrae's kindness helped us to get our bearings and relax into the treatments and focus on Michellie.
Those who helped to support Jessica's fundraising for cancer was overwhelming. Jessica really only thought that she was capable of $200 and that is a lot of money for an 11 year old. Because of everyone's kindness to her project and to support Michellie, she is just shy of $1500. Outstanding!!!
For those who lost their locks for Michellie and to support Angel Hair for kids, there was plenty of hair sent their way to build new wigs. We are happy to report that Michellie has her eyelashes almost grown out again, her eyebrows are short but back, and there is a dark fuzz on top of her head. There is a lot of fuzz, so she looks like her thick hair will return with a vengeance - and she is not even concerned if it is straight or curly any more.
For those who supported and participated in Carpe Diem this year - Thank you!!! We hope to be in the hall with everyone next year to celebrate our own victory with the MacAuley's 8th year of victory! I hope to be able to share many of my new programs with the recipients of the Carpe Diem fundraising this year - Wellspring Calgary. They will forward a lot of love and care to others through your kindness.
Yesterday afternoon I got word that the song "Home" (arranged by Morgan MacAuley and her friends in the creation of a band,with the choreographic talents of Chelsie-Anne Harris to perform lyrical jazz with the band), which was performed at Carpe Diem was also at the Cochrane Talent Festival this past week. They received great accolades for their performance and will be performing it in the Finale concert on Friday the 15th. They dedicated their performance to Michellie. We feel so lucky to know that people are using their passion for music and dance to make a difference for others, and they are feeling free to express themselves through the arts. Thank you so much performers for taking on such an incredible project!
Lastly, many people have written to tell us how they have changed the way they are looking at their lives. I know that when we announced we were moving to Cape Breton and selling the studio, there were a lot of shocked people. We knew then that we needed something different to bring us closer together and that we needed to really begin living life, rather than passing through life. This experience did accomplish our goals (not exactly what we had in mind), but it has hit home for many people. Everyday is a gift - a precious, inspirational, action packed piece of time to cherish completely. We are thrilled that some people are eating less sugar (or no sugar), some people have changed jobs, some people have retired, some people have started calling their loved ones more often, some people have started exercising or doing more, some people are laughing out loud and rejoicing in their experiences. We are thrilled that you have taken the time to reflect and realize what you want from this time on the planet. We are also inspired by how everyone has reached out to us in love and friendship, more than when we lived close by. We believe that there really is no distance between us, only what we choose to put there.
On that note, please remember that we have 2 guest bedrooms and we love company. We also love staying in touch and keeping up with everyone else's lives. Please take the time each day to reach out and remember those you love and hold them tight. Thank you everyone for making this journey one that we can celebrate with and move forward with so much more than what we started with.
On a side note - we will update some photos tomorrow and give you a bit of a look at what life is like now for Michellie, sorry for the delay on these.
We appreciated the fundraising that Dalbrae Academy did for us in the first few months. Despite the fact that much of the treatment was covered, the miles of travel, meals away from home, and the not working sure changed life for us. Dalbrae's kindness helped us to get our bearings and relax into the treatments and focus on Michellie.
Those who helped to support Jessica's fundraising for cancer was overwhelming. Jessica really only thought that she was capable of $200 and that is a lot of money for an 11 year old. Because of everyone's kindness to her project and to support Michellie, she is just shy of $1500. Outstanding!!!
For those who lost their locks for Michellie and to support Angel Hair for kids, there was plenty of hair sent their way to build new wigs. We are happy to report that Michellie has her eyelashes almost grown out again, her eyebrows are short but back, and there is a dark fuzz on top of her head. There is a lot of fuzz, so she looks like her thick hair will return with a vengeance - and she is not even concerned if it is straight or curly any more.
For those who supported and participated in Carpe Diem this year - Thank you!!! We hope to be in the hall with everyone next year to celebrate our own victory with the MacAuley's 8th year of victory! I hope to be able to share many of my new programs with the recipients of the Carpe Diem fundraising this year - Wellspring Calgary. They will forward a lot of love and care to others through your kindness.
Yesterday afternoon I got word that the song "Home" (arranged by Morgan MacAuley and her friends in the creation of a band,with the choreographic talents of Chelsie-Anne Harris to perform lyrical jazz with the band), which was performed at Carpe Diem was also at the Cochrane Talent Festival this past week. They received great accolades for their performance and will be performing it in the Finale concert on Friday the 15th. They dedicated their performance to Michellie. We feel so lucky to know that people are using their passion for music and dance to make a difference for others, and they are feeling free to express themselves through the arts. Thank you so much performers for taking on such an incredible project!
Lastly, many people have written to tell us how they have changed the way they are looking at their lives. I know that when we announced we were moving to Cape Breton and selling the studio, there were a lot of shocked people. We knew then that we needed something different to bring us closer together and that we needed to really begin living life, rather than passing through life. This experience did accomplish our goals (not exactly what we had in mind), but it has hit home for many people. Everyday is a gift - a precious, inspirational, action packed piece of time to cherish completely. We are thrilled that some people are eating less sugar (or no sugar), some people have changed jobs, some people have retired, some people have started calling their loved ones more often, some people have started exercising or doing more, some people are laughing out loud and rejoicing in their experiences. We are thrilled that you have taken the time to reflect and realize what you want from this time on the planet. We are also inspired by how everyone has reached out to us in love and friendship, more than when we lived close by. We believe that there really is no distance between us, only what we choose to put there.
On that note, please remember that we have 2 guest bedrooms and we love company. We also love staying in touch and keeping up with everyone else's lives. Please take the time each day to reach out and remember those you love and hold them tight. Thank you everyone for making this journey one that we can celebrate with and move forward with so much more than what we started with.
On a side note - we will update some photos tomorrow and give you a bit of a look at what life is like now for Michellie, sorry for the delay on these.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, April 12th am
This morning I had an email from a family member asking me to add a 10 year old dancer with foot and lung cancer to my prayers and could I send a healing bracelet to her. We are ready to pass this forward as well as a specially painted scarf that I have just finished so she will be able to dance from her bed during recovery, (I included this idea incase other people wanted to know what they could send to help with healing). To go with the parcel I wanted to add the story of the healing bracelet, so between Melody and I we have prepared a story that I am sure will grow with the more tellings it has. I am attaching the story for anyone who wishes to pass the idea of the healing bracelet forward. Instructions for how to make the bracelets are on Google. We kept ours to 3 colors and very simple designing to keep it simple for kids to make on their own.
Healing Bracelets share Light, Love and Friendship across the Miles
The story behind the “Healthy Melody” and “Healthy Michellie” Bracelets started in 2002, just before the Lance Armstrong “Livestrong” bracelets, etc. became popular. Melody Williamson MacAuley had just been diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Her good friend, Geralynne Mitschke and her daughters came up with the idea of making a friendship bracelet that anyone could wear in support of Melody’s cancer journey. The bracelet was made from colours in both Melody’s family tartan and her husband’s family tartan. In this way, it also acknowledged and drew from Ancestral Energy. The idea was that every time you looked at the bracelet, you thought of that person and sent them positive energy. Also, if others asked about the bracelet, then you could share the story and they would think of that person – and the energy would grow. It also helped Melody by letting her know how many people were thinking of her and her family. The idea was to wear the bracelet until the last cancer cell was gone. Melody ended up collecting some of the bracelets worn for her and had them mounted and framed in a circular frame to represent the circle of love, family, and friends.
When Michellie Greenwell was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2010, Melody’s family thought of the bracelet as something that could help everyone to not only send positive energy to Michellie, but also to help everyone feel connected despite the fact that everyone lived from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to British Columbia, with a lot of friends in Michellie’s birthplace of Cochrane, Alberta. Michellie had just moved to Cape Breton. The colours in Michellie’s bracelet represents the colours of the Hamilton clan, the Dress MacKenzie Tartan which Michellie always performed in, and the Nova Scotia tartan. This thought also led to Melody’s daughter, Morgan, and a group of friends to create a band and rehearse a song called “Home” in dedication to Michellie. They have performed this song for several events as a reminder to Michellie and others that they are at “home” wherever they are because of the love of family and friends.
So if you choose to wear a bracelet, Welcome Home. And, may your circle of friends and family provide you with light, love and healing energy to help you cope with your challenges and to find the strength to overcome them and live the life you have dreamed of.
Tuesday, April 12th pm
Yesterday was our first Pentamadine appointment in Antigonish without chemo. Michellie came through with flying colors. She didn't hardly have any after effects, and there were no extraneous circumstances with the treatment room or a freak storm. What a delight! Only two more of those are required. This morning Michellie had a physio appointment in Inverness. She discovered that she does not have any core strength, and that she can not make her bed or vacuum until she gets some! There was no muscle tone left anywhere. On the up side, there was more feeling in her legs and her sensory stimulation tests showed she had feeling everywhere, it was just lighter in some areas than others. This is much better than her appointment last month. Thank goodness! We will keep going with the Olive Leaf Extract for this, and the Star movement exercise. Her rash is still persisting, but the splits on her feet have healed up, so we are confident with another month this should be gone!
With last week's blog I mentioned a meditation that Michellie and I used to help calm her fears of the future. I am happy to report that she is still feeling calm and confident about her future without cancer. I am adding the meditation for others to use. It is very powerful and can move heaven and earth for you if you open your heart to it. This meditation I put into words, but the inspiration is from Qi Gong and several different writers and their techniques with it. Please let me know if the earth moves under your feet when you use it and Bless You for taking the power to heal from within!
With last week's blog I mentioned a meditation that Michellie and I used to help calm her fears of the future. I am happy to report that she is still feeling calm and confident about her future without cancer. I am adding the meditation for others to use. It is very powerful and can move heaven and earth for you if you open your heart to it. This meditation I put into words, but the inspiration is from Qi Gong and several different writers and their techniques with it. Please let me know if the earth moves under your feet when you use it and Bless You for taking the power to heal from within!
Meditation for The Inner Smile
This meditation can be utilized as its own exercise with some quiet meditative time lying in a quiet place. Or, at the beginning of a movement class this can be used to center the mind and coordinate the mind/body experience for an activity. If this is the case, the body can be seated on a chair with the sits bones close to the front of the chair, the feet firmly planted on the floor and the spine held straight and open. The hands can be palm up on the knees, or palm up in the lap.
Begin The Inner Smile focusing on the eyes. With the eyes closed, one can send an internal smile to the eyes. The eyes are linked to the entire nervous system. When they calm and relax, the parasympathetic nervous system can find security in self acceptance and the acceptance of others. Love can find a way to be reflected in the body both personally and from others. The sympathetic nervous system which is our instinctual safety net of fight or flight in the face of danger, also relaxes to allow the tendon guard reflex system to reduce tension in the body and free up the body for movement, openness and possibility.
Once the eyes have been able to shift into this calming state and we can use pathways in the body to begin feeling our expression of love with an internal dance of energy lines. The effects of this dance are more profoundly felt if the eyes remain closed and one imagines the dance of love and light to pass through each point in the body. Breathe will be instinctual and not consciously controlled, but will remain relatively deep while the body is feeling the effects of this visualization.
From the eyes, dance the energy from the front of the face, down the neck to the heart. The heart leads us into the circulatory system and the music in us can be reflected in the blood circulating throughout the body and then returning to the heart. Take time as the energy pathways are explored through the circulatory system. Feel the blood circulate from the heart to the toes and back again. Feel the blood circulate from the heart to the fingers and back again. Feel the blood circle the center of the body and nourish the organs it feeds. Return the blood to the heart to be cleansed and replenished to go again.
Imagine the pathway leading into the lungs and filling up each bronchi. Breath in fresh, clean air and feel the body receive the oxygen this breathe provides. Then feel the body release its toxins in the carbon dioxide and feel the body release this into the universe as you breathe out and empty the lungs. As the lungs are refilled, imagine the inner smile filling the lungs with white light and possibility.
Follow from the lungs to the internal organs. Beginning with the liver, expand and feel the love enter this organ. Provide healing color and energy to detox the entire organ and release the toxins from its holding space. Feel the liver change color and texture and gain a level of confidence for its important role in protecting the body. Leaving the liver, send the inner smile to the kidneys where the same cleansing can happen. Feel the texture of the organ change and become lighter. Feel the kidneys abilities to filter out the toxins that arrive there and release those toxins to the universe. On top of the kidneys are the adrenals. Know that the adrenals perform incredible tasks to support the stresses that we have in our lives. Feel the adrenals open and accept support to be free to perform as they need, feel the light and love energize their space. The pancreas and then the spleen will follow with a vibrant pathway of energy that links up all of the systems with oxygenated blood and healing light. Feel the inner smile fill up your organs with amazing potential and unlimited resources for health and wellness. Return the smile to your eyes and feel the connection between all of these systems.
The Middle Part of the body follows the digestive tract. From the smile in the eyes, follow a pathway into the mouth. The light will fill up the tongue, the gums, and the teeth to provide strength and protection in this most precious energy space. Feel the light expand and move the line of light to travel down the esophagus to the stomach. The juices and the lining of the stomach are clear and fluid. The light protects the stomach and fills up the space with healing light. From there the line can pass to the small intestine, providing loving energy to each villi in the lining. Following this pathway, proceed to the large intestine to expand and support this nourishing part of the digestive tract. And, finally lead the inner smile down to the rectum. Swallowing saliva with this line of smiling will change the integrity of the fluids that pass through these areas of the body. Take time to swallow, release and feel the digestive tract change with each breathe and line of light traveling down its pathway.
The spine dance begins at the back of the eyes with the inner smile passing through the cranial bones, around the brain tissue and down the brain stem. Feel the lightness and the acceptance within the cranial cavity as the inner smile fills up this space. The smile then passes through each vertebrae of the spine from top to bottom, with a light shining at each point as the smile travels down to the coccyx. Feel the smile at the top of the spine, feel it flow down the neck to the shoulders. Feel the smile continue down past the shoulder blades to the center of the back, into the small of the back, into the pelvic girdle. Feel the pelvic cavity light up as the lights shine all the way to the tailbone.
Return to the eyes. Reflect the changes in your body. Follow a pathway to your heart and from your heart travel down any pathway you wish to follow the lines of the lymphatic system. This pathway is similar to the blood and veins and the pathways of the circulatory system, but it has its own pathways and systems. Take time around the neck, the lungs, the heart, the breasts, the pelvic cavity and across the hips. Travel down the outside of the right leg, and up the outside of the left leg. Travel down the inside of the right legs and then up the inside of the left leg and return to the heart. Gather any toxins that may be hiding in these pathways and bring them with your smile back from your heart to your breath. With a deep breath let them go as you exhale. Draw in light and love with the next breathe and breath out the toxins one more time.
Once you have filled the body with the inner smile. Take a few moments to breathe and reflect on any space in the body that feels it needs more. Bring the smile from the eyes on a pathway to this space and fill it with light, love and acceptance. Once the body feels it has reached its capacity for love, allow the love and light to spread over the body. Feel the eyes light up and glow as the body shines for others to see in its glory. When you are complete with these thoughts, bring the palms of the hands together in front of the belly button and then bring them up to the brow. Finish with a prayer, an affirmation or by calling Namasthe to the universe. Open the eyes and enjoy the glow and warmth the inner smile has provided.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Monday, April 11th
Healing Bracelets! Many of you are wondering how much longer will you be wearing or carrying your bracelet with you. Michellie will have her next set of tests in late May. At this time they will also remove her Port-A-Cath. We would love for you to take these next few weeks to reflect on what the bracelet has meant to you, and how it might have changed the way you approached your days or your choices as you were keeping Michellie in your thoughts. If you would like to share these ideas, we would love to add these to our memories of this time. When the Port-A-Cath has been removed, we will have a special celebration day for all of us to share removing the bracelet and passing the power of healing forward. We will keep you posted about this in the next few weeks. Thank you for continuing to keep Michellie in your thoughts as she approaches this very important milestone in her recovery.
David and I have been wearing two bracelets, the result of an email we received through a friend of someone who saw Michellie's journey in color. Michellie made us a second bracelet in orange, brown and yellow to signify strength and to reflect the image of the letter. Here is the letter we received as inspiration. We hope that the writer does not mind the sharing as we hope to pass color on to someone else's life with this telling:
David and I have been wearing two bracelets, the result of an email we received through a friend of someone who saw Michellie's journey in color. Michellie made us a second bracelet in orange, brown and yellow to signify strength and to reflect the image of the letter. Here is the letter we received as inspiration. We hope that the writer does not mind the sharing as we hope to pass color on to someone else's life with this telling:
Melody,
When you were doing your reading today, as well as bringing tears to my eyes, you brought an overwhelming feeling of brightness. As I mentioned, sunflowers and the warmest, happiest, brightest yellow flooded my head. I went online to see what either represents and this is what I found:
Sunflowers: To see a sunflower in your dream, symbolizes warmth, abundance, longevity, and prosperity. The sunflower also serves to point you in the right direction and is a source of spiritual guidance. Even through difficult times, you will persevere.
Yellow: Yellow is a happy and encouraging colour. Yellow is the colour of intuition, premonition, and perceptions. A warm yellow is the colour of the radiant energy of the sun; it is a symbol of optimism, joy and spirit.
If the dream is a pleasant one (and it was beautiful), then the color yellow is symbolic of intellect, energy, agility, happiness, harmony, and wisdom.
I was most pleased when I read this as this is completely what I felt. I know your friend's journey isn't going to be an easy one, but let her know that she is already abundant with all of those qualities mentioned above. May the sunflower be her guide.
Much love,
(name withheld)
When you were doing your reading today, as well as bringing tears to my eyes, you brought an overwhelming feeling of brightness. As I mentioned, sunflowers and the warmest, happiest, brightest yellow flooded my head. I went online to see what either represents and this is what I found:
Sunflowers: To see a sunflower in your dream, symbolizes warmth, abundance, longevity, and prosperity. The sunflower also serves to point you in the right direction and is a source of spiritual guidance. Even through difficult times, you will persevere.
Yellow: Yellow is a happy and encouraging colour. Yellow is the colour of intuition, premonition, and perceptions. A warm yellow is the colour of the radiant energy of the sun; it is a symbol of optimism, joy and spirit.
If the dream is a pleasant one (and it was beautiful), then the color yellow is symbolic of intellect, energy, agility, happiness, harmony, and wisdom.
I was most pleased when I read this as this is completely what I felt. I know your friend's journey isn't going to be an easy one, but let her know that she is already abundant with all of those qualities mentioned above. May the sunflower be her guide.
Much love,
(name withheld)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Sunday, April 10th
One of the highlights of being a child recovering from cancer, is that there are amazing organizations there to support and lift you up through your ordeal. At the beginning there are the Child Life workers who meet you upon your arrival to the hospital, and who work to make sure you have things to do in the hospital during treatment, and who provide you with a computer, ipod, movie, xbox etc. to entertain you in your bed. There is also the teen lounge and Ronald MacDonald Room to steal away to if you are lucky enough to get out of bed. Michellie did not have this privilege, but David and I did enjoy hospitality during Christmas in the Ronald MacDonald Room. One program sponsored by a family who understood the overwhelming feelings of the inital stay in the hospital has implemented a pajama program. New arrivals all receive a soft pair of pajamas to enjoy, rather than the glorious gowns at the hospital. Michellie was lucky enough to receive 2 pairs of pajamas, and they were so uplifting both times. We tried to give back in a similar way. Michellie and I autographed many copies of "Stacey on the Keyboard" books which are given to children 9 years and under to help entertain them during their stay. These are being given out on the oncology ward and on the children's ward.
There is also the quilting program. Michellie received a small receiving sized blanket on her first visit to add some color to the bed and cheer her up, then she had Lori O'Brien gift her the most amazing quilt to match all the colors in her room. It is so soft and warm. Michellie carried that blanket to every treatment to cover her, and she protected it from harm during her most violent moments with the chemo. Nothing would be able to get on that blanket, no matter how bad Michellie felt. These blankets have given Michellie great smiles and warmth through everything.
Michellie has been able to connect with other teens enduring treatments for various illnesses through various teen websites. This has allowed her the opportunity to share with others, meet new people, and to understand how lucky she has been with her diagnosis, treatment and recovery. She has really enjoyed her time connecting with emails. As well, the classmates from Dalbrae have been outstanding. There have been cards, gifts, fundraising, wishes, texts, and visits. This has all made it possible for her to stay connected to her new friends and still feel a part of the school activities. Her teachers have been so open and understanding as well, and they have provided her with opportunity to adjust her projects and assignments, and to include some of the things she has learned through this experience.
On May 2 Michellie will be able to join 3 other teens with cancer on an incredible trip to Washington DC. She is very nervous about being away from us, and travelling on her "own", but she is excited to be able to escape from us and meet new friends. She is motivated by this trip to keep exercising and building up her stamina. She does not want to have to ask for a wheel chair to get around because she is too tired. Incentive is such a wonderful thing! She will be on this trip for one week and there is a nurse that volunteers to go with them. We are very grateful for this opportunity.
As well, Michellie was granted a wish with Children's Wish foundation. This wish is to go to Hawaii and swim with wild dolphins in a healing program. Many of you know that Michellie loves dophins, and she loves movies about them. We did swim with the dolphins at Discovery Cove in Florida, but that was only a taste. Since MacKenzie no longer lives at home, she was able to choose a friend to accompany her on this voyage. Due to the nature of the trip and the healing component, she knew that the one most likely to understand all that would happen in the week would be her BFF Chelsie-Anne. This past week I had the privilege of carrying Michellie's surprise to Chelsie-Anne with a stop over in Calgary. Part of Michellie's trip included a special package from Black's photography and a camera to record the trip. Michellie was able to pass forward her own camera and some other treasures to Chelsie-Anne. In true friend's style, Michellie drew a picture book of the surprise for Chelsie-Anne to guess what was happening. Eventually over the phone the two connected, and MacKenzie, Chelsie-Anne's mom and I watched and snapped photos. What a beautiful moment. Michellie and Chelsie-Anne have lots to chat about now, and with the trip planned for November, there is some time to talk and dream before then. This is definitely incentive for Michellie to strive to be stronger, and to get her lungs working well for snorkelling and swimming. We will share more as this trip gets closer. Children's Wish has many other activities planned that Michellie will be a part of, and all of this is part of them helping children to find fun and happiness again, and to build memories to motivate and inspire them in their healing process. The Make a Wish foundation was also in our discussions, and although we did not have an opportunity to work with this group, we want to thank them and acknowledge the efforts of all those people who help support these groups and the differences they are making in children's and families lives.
Now that we are free to go out into the community again, and to socialize in groups, we are thrilled to be a part of the Hillsborough community. This group is planning a special dinner for us in the next month or so, and this will allow us the opportunity to connect with everyone, and to get to know our community a little better. We were just getting started with connections in the fall, and with our isolation in the winter, we had to put everything on hold. We are so excited for the opportunity they will also be providing us.
To give back to everyone, I would like to let everyone know that we are happy to share. It is through our research, everyone's experience, emails, healing prayers etc., that we have grown so much in these last few months. We know that there are many people who are needing help now too. If someone would like a resource, if there is a recipe, if a healing session is needed, if you would like to be added to our prayer list, please let us know how we can help you. The more we all share, the more we all have the ability to heal and repair quickly. I will be compiling some things that did not get to the blog and I will be posting these items so that others may be able to benefit from the knowledge. Please ask if there is something you are looking for.
In the meantime, we are grateful to all those people who take the time to help, support, fundraise, create, build etc. opportunities for dis-eased individuals, so that they can be supported and focus on their own healing. Laughter, fun, friendship, opportunities and memories are all a part of motivating ourselves to heal, and we thank everyone for the opportunities that they create to make such events happen.
There is also the quilting program. Michellie received a small receiving sized blanket on her first visit to add some color to the bed and cheer her up, then she had Lori O'Brien gift her the most amazing quilt to match all the colors in her room. It is so soft and warm. Michellie carried that blanket to every treatment to cover her, and she protected it from harm during her most violent moments with the chemo. Nothing would be able to get on that blanket, no matter how bad Michellie felt. These blankets have given Michellie great smiles and warmth through everything.
Michellie has been able to connect with other teens enduring treatments for various illnesses through various teen websites. This has allowed her the opportunity to share with others, meet new people, and to understand how lucky she has been with her diagnosis, treatment and recovery. She has really enjoyed her time connecting with emails. As well, the classmates from Dalbrae have been outstanding. There have been cards, gifts, fundraising, wishes, texts, and visits. This has all made it possible for her to stay connected to her new friends and still feel a part of the school activities. Her teachers have been so open and understanding as well, and they have provided her with opportunity to adjust her projects and assignments, and to include some of the things she has learned through this experience.
On May 2 Michellie will be able to join 3 other teens with cancer on an incredible trip to Washington DC. She is very nervous about being away from us, and travelling on her "own", but she is excited to be able to escape from us and meet new friends. She is motivated by this trip to keep exercising and building up her stamina. She does not want to have to ask for a wheel chair to get around because she is too tired. Incentive is such a wonderful thing! She will be on this trip for one week and there is a nurse that volunteers to go with them. We are very grateful for this opportunity.
As well, Michellie was granted a wish with Children's Wish foundation. This wish is to go to Hawaii and swim with wild dolphins in a healing program. Many of you know that Michellie loves dophins, and she loves movies about them. We did swim with the dolphins at Discovery Cove in Florida, but that was only a taste. Since MacKenzie no longer lives at home, she was able to choose a friend to accompany her on this voyage. Due to the nature of the trip and the healing component, she knew that the one most likely to understand all that would happen in the week would be her BFF Chelsie-Anne. This past week I had the privilege of carrying Michellie's surprise to Chelsie-Anne with a stop over in Calgary. Part of Michellie's trip included a special package from Black's photography and a camera to record the trip. Michellie was able to pass forward her own camera and some other treasures to Chelsie-Anne. In true friend's style, Michellie drew a picture book of the surprise for Chelsie-Anne to guess what was happening. Eventually over the phone the two connected, and MacKenzie, Chelsie-Anne's mom and I watched and snapped photos. What a beautiful moment. Michellie and Chelsie-Anne have lots to chat about now, and with the trip planned for November, there is some time to talk and dream before then. This is definitely incentive for Michellie to strive to be stronger, and to get her lungs working well for snorkelling and swimming. We will share more as this trip gets closer. Children's Wish has many other activities planned that Michellie will be a part of, and all of this is part of them helping children to find fun and happiness again, and to build memories to motivate and inspire them in their healing process. The Make a Wish foundation was also in our discussions, and although we did not have an opportunity to work with this group, we want to thank them and acknowledge the efforts of all those people who help support these groups and the differences they are making in children's and families lives.
Now that we are free to go out into the community again, and to socialize in groups, we are thrilled to be a part of the Hillsborough community. This group is planning a special dinner for us in the next month or so, and this will allow us the opportunity to connect with everyone, and to get to know our community a little better. We were just getting started with connections in the fall, and with our isolation in the winter, we had to put everything on hold. We are so excited for the opportunity they will also be providing us.
To give back to everyone, I would like to let everyone know that we are happy to share. It is through our research, everyone's experience, emails, healing prayers etc., that we have grown so much in these last few months. We know that there are many people who are needing help now too. If someone would like a resource, if there is a recipe, if a healing session is needed, if you would like to be added to our prayer list, please let us know how we can help you. The more we all share, the more we all have the ability to heal and repair quickly. I will be compiling some things that did not get to the blog and I will be posting these items so that others may be able to benefit from the knowledge. Please ask if there is something you are looking for.
In the meantime, we are grateful to all those people who take the time to help, support, fundraise, create, build etc. opportunities for dis-eased individuals, so that they can be supported and focus on their own healing. Laughter, fun, friendship, opportunities and memories are all a part of motivating ourselves to heal, and we thank everyone for the opportunities that they create to make such events happen.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Saturday, April 9th
What a week! With my being away from David and Michellie for the big meeting on Tuesday, it has been something of an overwhelm and a settling that has occured for the rest of the week. I wanted to spend some time to give everyone more detail of what Tuesday was like and what we were balancing.
David and Michellie met with our coordinator, Lesley; our oncologist, Dr. Fernandez; and the radiotherapist, Dr. Rutledge. I was on speaker phone from Kelowna. Dr. Fernandez reiterated that Michellie had been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma at Stage 2 Classical Nodular. This was a bulk disease and very large - larger than 6 cm. - something the size of a Mango. She had B symptoms which included night sweats, which increase her likelyhood of a reoccurence by 10%. Another risk factor was her ESR count - Erythrocyte sedimentation rate. This is the rate that red blood cells sediment in one hour and measure inflammation. ESR is an adverse factor that they also consider. Normal range is from 1 - 10, and Michellie had a score of 58. With all of these factors considered and the speed at which the chemotherapy cleared the cancer out, they could estimate that she has a 75% chance that the cancer will not come back. However, because she is a type B, this is reduced by 10% to 65%. Dr. Fernandez was very optimistic with the way that Michellie responded to the chemo in regards to the cancer, and he was very surprised how quickly she was able to completely clear it out and have clear scans after only 2 treatments. (They don't consider any other factors that could be linked to this, so we just know the dietary changes we made - specifically NO SUGAR- to feed the cancer cells and reduce the immune system, the balancing of the emotions linked to the development of the cancer, the healing work many people contributed and the thousands of prayers said for Michellie).
Dr. Rutledge talked about his numbers being slighly different from Dr. Fernandez, and that he felt Michellie had an 80% chance that the cancer would not return based on her present state and the speed at which she responded to treatment. He felt that by adding radio therapy he would be able to increase this number by 10% more. However, if we went ahead with radiation there were several things to consider. The short term side effects of radiation is 14 treatments over 2 and a half weeks, that would produce a sunburn on the inside of her body, some burning up her esophagus, and dry mouth and perhaps some sores in her mouth. The long term effects of her type of radiation was something more to consider. Because the tumor had been in the center of her chest cavity it was in close proximity to her thyroid. Radiation could eventually lead to a 40% decrease of the effectiveness of her thyroid that would need to be controlled with medication for the rest of her life. There was a potential increase for risk of breast cancer by any tissue affected by the radiation, and there could be scarring on the top of her lungs that could hinder her ability to have full lung capacity in the long term.
Dr. Fernandez then talked about what if the cancer were to return. If this happened, it would be within the next 2 years most likely, but that they will be scanning her and watching closely during this time frame. If it reoccured then we would be looking at a bone marrow transplant, plus double the chemo and radiation. Of those people, who have this happen, there is a 50% chance of full recovery, but damage to the heart and lungs would be probable, with Michellie's chance of fertility being decreased also. There was a 1 in 10 chance that she could develop Leukemia or Bone Cancer.
After these numbers and the reality of the situation, they conferrred that there was no precident to follow, the results of the recent study that had just finished did not have results to release yet. However, based on what they had seen in the past, they felt that the decision was ours and they would support whatever we wanted.
As many of you know, we were praying and hoping that the radiation could be removed from Michellie's treatment. We prayed that the best for her care would be presented to us, and it was. The numbers were not strong enough to warrant the long term effects of adding the radiation. We had been given the opportunity to choose for ourselves and we could be very confident in stating that we felt it was not in Michellie's best interest to add radiation at this time, with the knowledge that we had at this time. Michellie was overwhelmed with all of the information and a decision and did not want to give an opinion. David was a little rattled by all the detail, and I was affirmed in my knowledge that radiation was not what Michellie needed at this time. We all agreed that we would let the radiation go. We let the doctors know our decision, and David told me later that the sigh of relief from the doctors was huge. They were happy for our decision. The rest of the team for Michellie was also happy and relieved. This helped us a lot. We know that the protocol still called for radiation and that the doctors had to follow protocol, but we were thrilled that our prayers were answered and we were given the choice! All of this took 2 hours of discussion and presentation.
For those that have not experienced such illness, it seems like a huge victory to celebrate and that all is done. But we did not feel that. We were so relieved to have had the choice and to know that Michellie did not have to endure any more treatment. She could rest. Each in our own time, we had a cry to release all of our tension. But, we still have a road of recovery ahead of us, and we have the long term effects of the chemo to work on. Wow. We never realized all that others who had gone before us had endured. As my aunt Karen made these choices for her life over the last 3 years, we did not realize what she was really going through and what it all meant for her and her fight for life. And, of course, there are so many others who have been affected by dis-ease and made similar choices or spent so much time recovering. It really is overwhelming. We are so uplifted by the fact that Michellie has removed the cancer from her body, and we are optimistic and motivated to do all that we can to keep it that way. We do know that we have to be proactive, and we have to continue to work to keep her body healthy and strong, as everyone really should.
Michellie and David spent the afternoon at a movie to relax and let the day wash over them. I spent a whole day with my neice, Jessica, and my nephew, Carson, and I loved every moment of sharing with them. Life is so gracious to us all. Michellie seemed to relax and push forward into taking care of herself and pushing for more exercises to build her stamina and her strength. In only a few short hours I returned home on Thursday evening to have a chance to reflect with everyone together.
Michellie has had some difficulty with processing all of the information from the meeting with the doctors. She listened to everyone and she tried to let much of it wash over her, but there is a big fear of what if... She found herself in a panic attack and short of breathe as she worried about a future with more cancer. Some of my latest work developing a meditation called "The Inner Smile", which comes from Qi Gong, was able to release her fear and allow her to find "gratitude" in her heart and love for herself. This was a big process. With the chemo so fresh in her mind, gratitude is a hard emotion to grasp and hold on to. She is glad and relieved the cancer is gone, and now she is working to be grateful for the experience and what it has brought to her life. She is now breathing a lot easier and more deeply, and she is embracing life for what it is, and living each moment as it comes. She is very determined to remylenate the sheath of the nerves to repair the nerve damage in her legs, and she uses "the Star" everyday to this end. She is also staying on top of consuming Olive Leaf Extract for repair and immune building, Glutathione supplements for repair, Vitamin D, Calcium and Magnesium. Dad made awesome smoothies while I was away, so she is staying on top of eating well and with minimum refined sugar intake. She even helped to make the Garbanzo Bean chocolate cake yesterday.
Michellie and David experimented with adding wheat back into her diet, and she was ok for a few days, but then the cumulative effect started to take over, and the stomach cramps were back. Both were relieved to have me in the kitchen to make some gluten free pancakes and cake once again. We will meet with a stomach specialist in another 2 months to look at everything after chemo and to see where we go next. We are happy about this. In the meantime, we will continue to learn and heal as we know how.
There is much more to tell, but I think this blog gets everyone caught up about our big day, and we will save some incredible and exciting stories for Michellie's future with you on the next blog.
Again, we cannot thank everyone enough for all of their love, thoughts, prayers, support, laughter, sharing etc. with us. Everyone needs to reflect on how they played a part in Michellie's recovery and the success of her story. Community is so important to everyone. And, you are all so important to us. Thank you!
David and Michellie met with our coordinator, Lesley; our oncologist, Dr. Fernandez; and the radiotherapist, Dr. Rutledge. I was on speaker phone from Kelowna. Dr. Fernandez reiterated that Michellie had been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma at Stage 2 Classical Nodular. This was a bulk disease and very large - larger than 6 cm. - something the size of a Mango. She had B symptoms which included night sweats, which increase her likelyhood of a reoccurence by 10%. Another risk factor was her ESR count - Erythrocyte sedimentation rate. This is the rate that red blood cells sediment in one hour and measure inflammation. ESR is an adverse factor that they also consider. Normal range is from 1 - 10, and Michellie had a score of 58. With all of these factors considered and the speed at which the chemotherapy cleared the cancer out, they could estimate that she has a 75% chance that the cancer will not come back. However, because she is a type B, this is reduced by 10% to 65%. Dr. Fernandez was very optimistic with the way that Michellie responded to the chemo in regards to the cancer, and he was very surprised how quickly she was able to completely clear it out and have clear scans after only 2 treatments. (They don't consider any other factors that could be linked to this, so we just know the dietary changes we made - specifically NO SUGAR- to feed the cancer cells and reduce the immune system, the balancing of the emotions linked to the development of the cancer, the healing work many people contributed and the thousands of prayers said for Michellie).
Dr. Rutledge talked about his numbers being slighly different from Dr. Fernandez, and that he felt Michellie had an 80% chance that the cancer would not return based on her present state and the speed at which she responded to treatment. He felt that by adding radio therapy he would be able to increase this number by 10% more. However, if we went ahead with radiation there were several things to consider. The short term side effects of radiation is 14 treatments over 2 and a half weeks, that would produce a sunburn on the inside of her body, some burning up her esophagus, and dry mouth and perhaps some sores in her mouth. The long term effects of her type of radiation was something more to consider. Because the tumor had been in the center of her chest cavity it was in close proximity to her thyroid. Radiation could eventually lead to a 40% decrease of the effectiveness of her thyroid that would need to be controlled with medication for the rest of her life. There was a potential increase for risk of breast cancer by any tissue affected by the radiation, and there could be scarring on the top of her lungs that could hinder her ability to have full lung capacity in the long term.
Dr. Fernandez then talked about what if the cancer were to return. If this happened, it would be within the next 2 years most likely, but that they will be scanning her and watching closely during this time frame. If it reoccured then we would be looking at a bone marrow transplant, plus double the chemo and radiation. Of those people, who have this happen, there is a 50% chance of full recovery, but damage to the heart and lungs would be probable, with Michellie's chance of fertility being decreased also. There was a 1 in 10 chance that she could develop Leukemia or Bone Cancer.
After these numbers and the reality of the situation, they conferrred that there was no precident to follow, the results of the recent study that had just finished did not have results to release yet. However, based on what they had seen in the past, they felt that the decision was ours and they would support whatever we wanted.
As many of you know, we were praying and hoping that the radiation could be removed from Michellie's treatment. We prayed that the best for her care would be presented to us, and it was. The numbers were not strong enough to warrant the long term effects of adding the radiation. We had been given the opportunity to choose for ourselves and we could be very confident in stating that we felt it was not in Michellie's best interest to add radiation at this time, with the knowledge that we had at this time. Michellie was overwhelmed with all of the information and a decision and did not want to give an opinion. David was a little rattled by all the detail, and I was affirmed in my knowledge that radiation was not what Michellie needed at this time. We all agreed that we would let the radiation go. We let the doctors know our decision, and David told me later that the sigh of relief from the doctors was huge. They were happy for our decision. The rest of the team for Michellie was also happy and relieved. This helped us a lot. We know that the protocol still called for radiation and that the doctors had to follow protocol, but we were thrilled that our prayers were answered and we were given the choice! All of this took 2 hours of discussion and presentation.
For those that have not experienced such illness, it seems like a huge victory to celebrate and that all is done. But we did not feel that. We were so relieved to have had the choice and to know that Michellie did not have to endure any more treatment. She could rest. Each in our own time, we had a cry to release all of our tension. But, we still have a road of recovery ahead of us, and we have the long term effects of the chemo to work on. Wow. We never realized all that others who had gone before us had endured. As my aunt Karen made these choices for her life over the last 3 years, we did not realize what she was really going through and what it all meant for her and her fight for life. And, of course, there are so many others who have been affected by dis-ease and made similar choices or spent so much time recovering. It really is overwhelming. We are so uplifted by the fact that Michellie has removed the cancer from her body, and we are optimistic and motivated to do all that we can to keep it that way. We do know that we have to be proactive, and we have to continue to work to keep her body healthy and strong, as everyone really should.
Michellie and David spent the afternoon at a movie to relax and let the day wash over them. I spent a whole day with my neice, Jessica, and my nephew, Carson, and I loved every moment of sharing with them. Life is so gracious to us all. Michellie seemed to relax and push forward into taking care of herself and pushing for more exercises to build her stamina and her strength. In only a few short hours I returned home on Thursday evening to have a chance to reflect with everyone together.
Michellie has had some difficulty with processing all of the information from the meeting with the doctors. She listened to everyone and she tried to let much of it wash over her, but there is a big fear of what if... She found herself in a panic attack and short of breathe as she worried about a future with more cancer. Some of my latest work developing a meditation called "The Inner Smile", which comes from Qi Gong, was able to release her fear and allow her to find "gratitude" in her heart and love for herself. This was a big process. With the chemo so fresh in her mind, gratitude is a hard emotion to grasp and hold on to. She is glad and relieved the cancer is gone, and now she is working to be grateful for the experience and what it has brought to her life. She is now breathing a lot easier and more deeply, and she is embracing life for what it is, and living each moment as it comes. She is very determined to remylenate the sheath of the nerves to repair the nerve damage in her legs, and she uses "the Star" everyday to this end. She is also staying on top of consuming Olive Leaf Extract for repair and immune building, Glutathione supplements for repair, Vitamin D, Calcium and Magnesium. Dad made awesome smoothies while I was away, so she is staying on top of eating well and with minimum refined sugar intake. She even helped to make the Garbanzo Bean chocolate cake yesterday.
Michellie and David experimented with adding wheat back into her diet, and she was ok for a few days, but then the cumulative effect started to take over, and the stomach cramps were back. Both were relieved to have me in the kitchen to make some gluten free pancakes and cake once again. We will meet with a stomach specialist in another 2 months to look at everything after chemo and to see where we go next. We are happy about this. In the meantime, we will continue to learn and heal as we know how.
There is much more to tell, but I think this blog gets everyone caught up about our big day, and we will save some incredible and exciting stories for Michellie's future with you on the next blog.
Again, we cannot thank everyone enough for all of their love, thoughts, prayers, support, laughter, sharing etc. with us. Everyone needs to reflect on how they played a part in Michellie's recovery and the success of her story. Community is so important to everyone. And, you are all so important to us. Thank you!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Tuesday, April 5th
Celebrate!!!!! Michellie is done. The addition of radiation was not going to be significant enough to warrant the possible side effects, so we have determined that we are done treatment!!!!! Wow!
I have pondered what we can post for you on the blog with this exciting news, and we will continue to keep you posted about several things. For now, thank you everyone for making this a possibility for Michellie. Everyone's diligent ambition to help with her healing through prayer, thoughts, love, healing work etc. has made the difference for us all. We are so grateful!!!! Please go forward knowing that you have all made a difference in our lives and that you have the power to do the same in your own lives and in the lives of others needing special love and attention.
I am now going to make noodles with my neice and nephew as they skip school to spend time with me. Michellie and David are heading to Krochko's for a celebration lunch. I will post more when I get the opportunity.
Thank you everyone! And, our thoughts and prayers continue to be there for those of you still challenged with your own health and spirit. We will continue to shine a light in your direction.
I have pondered what we can post for you on the blog with this exciting news, and we will continue to keep you posted about several things. For now, thank you everyone for making this a possibility for Michellie. Everyone's diligent ambition to help with her healing through prayer, thoughts, love, healing work etc. has made the difference for us all. We are so grateful!!!! Please go forward knowing that you have all made a difference in our lives and that you have the power to do the same in your own lives and in the lives of others needing special love and attention.
I am now going to make noodles with my neice and nephew as they skip school to spend time with me. Michellie and David are heading to Krochko's for a celebration lunch. I will post more when I get the opportunity.
Thank you everyone! And, our thoughts and prayers continue to be there for those of you still challenged with your own health and spirit. We will continue to shine a light in your direction.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Sunday, April 3rd
What a weekend. David was snowed in with Michellie and Sam, and all the activities for the area were cancelled. They did enjoy some fun with the neighbours, and catching up on things around the house. Michellie's rash seems to be drying up, so hopefully it will be a distant memory soon. David and Michellie will head to Halifax on Tuesday for the appointment with the doc's in the afternoon.
Michelle watched almost two hundred dance routines and loved every minute of judging in Vermillion. In the wee hours she will be on a plane to Kelowna for a family visit, and that will be great.
For those who have the opportunity to meet Michelle at the airport in Calgary on Wednesday night from 7:30 to about 9:30ish, she will be at the Pancini restaurant at the Accent Inn. Please send a note if you can join us so we know how many seats to save. See you then.
Michelle watched almost two hundred dance routines and loved every minute of judging in Vermillion. In the wee hours she will be on a plane to Kelowna for a family visit, and that will be great.
For those who have the opportunity to meet Michelle at the airport in Calgary on Wednesday night from 7:30 to about 9:30ish, she will be at the Pancini restaurant at the Accent Inn. Please send a note if you can join us so we know how many seats to save. See you then.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Friday, April 1 pm
Yesterday was a very harrowing day for Michellie and David as they waited for word from the doctors. Anxiety ramped up as the day progressed. I was on a plane and oblivious to it all thinking that I would be able to get details when I touched down in Calgary. Michellie was busy with assignments and working on the exercises she can do, while David spent the afternoon clearing out the back attic and getting rid of many of the boxes we had saved from the move. David also enjoyed an evening of discussions at Strathspey Place Theatre with an open house to discuss the direction of the theatre. He was very excited about this when he got home. I touched down in Calgary for a two hour lay over. I had the privilege of brunch with Kenzie, Mireille and Chelsie-Anne. We had a good time catching up. Then I headed to Edmonton where I was able to talk some ideas around some new healing workshops with another healing buddy. Lastly, I was able to catch up with The Markowskis for a great evening of discussions and the start of the 45th Birthday Celebrations. Lori and I both celebrate within a week of each other in May, so the festivities have started.
Today Michellie headed to school for the afternoon to catch up with her friends and dive into some of her assignments. The evening was waiting for Brittany and Justin to get to the island from Halifax. Michellie has been counting down going fishing with them. She has been talking about it for weeks. Sam got his license, so Michellie was waiting to see if he would be able to also come up for the weekend. David was hoping to get to Judique for a CD launch, but he was snowed in. A little freak storm descended upon the area. I don't know what this means for fishing?! I did hear that Michellie was feeling much better today and the rash had backed off even more. As well, her hair is a good buzz now across her whole head. I can hardly wait to see what a week will mean when I get home.
I have had a fantastic time judging all day. I love this job! I hope I get to do more of it now that my schedule is freed up. It is so great to share what I can, and enjoy such incredible talent as I saw today. Edmonton has a pile of snow - the yards have four to six feet in them, even after melting. Its really incredible. The sun shone all day, so there was a lot of melting going on.
We are anxious for the meeting Tuesday, but we are optimistic that there is still not enough evidence to show that radiation is called for to finish Michellie's treatments. We embrace the opportunity to have a discussion about it and options. As well, if there is no radiation planned, then perhaps we can get some resolution on the stomach issues with a few tests now that Michellie has been out of treatment for almost 5 weeks. All with time.
Today Michellie headed to school for the afternoon to catch up with her friends and dive into some of her assignments. The evening was waiting for Brittany and Justin to get to the island from Halifax. Michellie has been counting down going fishing with them. She has been talking about it for weeks. Sam got his license, so Michellie was waiting to see if he would be able to also come up for the weekend. David was hoping to get to Judique for a CD launch, but he was snowed in. A little freak storm descended upon the area. I don't know what this means for fishing?! I did hear that Michellie was feeling much better today and the rash had backed off even more. As well, her hair is a good buzz now across her whole head. I can hardly wait to see what a week will mean when I get home.
I have had a fantastic time judging all day. I love this job! I hope I get to do more of it now that my schedule is freed up. It is so great to share what I can, and enjoy such incredible talent as I saw today. Edmonton has a pile of snow - the yards have four to six feet in them, even after melting. Its really incredible. The sun shone all day, so there was a lot of melting going on.
We are anxious for the meeting Tuesday, but we are optimistic that there is still not enough evidence to show that radiation is called for to finish Michellie's treatments. We embrace the opportunity to have a discussion about it and options. As well, if there is no radiation planned, then perhaps we can get some resolution on the stomach issues with a few tests now that Michellie has been out of treatment for almost 5 weeks. All with time.
Friday April 1st
It's no joke, we have no answer. After waiting all day yesterday, David just received word at the end of the day that the doctors would like to meet next week. There was no talk of radiation appointments, so we are not sure what this all means. We are hoping that they are not sure, and just want to discuss that. We will keep you posted, but for now, no radiation is planned - YAH!!!! Thank you for shifting the energy for us and supporting the best for Michellie. I will update more later, I am off to judge in Vermillion now.
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